Because I'm a mom...

I had a very brief crying jag this morning/afternoon. It came out of nowhere and I don't really cry. Maybe it's because so often little people cry around here that I physically cannot listen to one more tear fall.

After putting together lunch for Maddie and Natalie I was attempting to make myself something to eat. I got both girls set up in their respective spots when my cell phone started ringing, Natalie was hollering for more milk, and I was super hungry...I turn around to see that Maddie had thrown all of her food on the floor and had a big old, adorable smile on her face. Mac and cheese and bits of fruit were everywhere...floor, rug, drawers of the buffet, everywhere. I picked her up, didn't even clean her off and deposited Maddie in her crib. I started cleaning up the mess and my tears just started flowing. The past several months have been long and lonely for this mom. And while I've been alone these little kids who don't know any different have routinely taken from me with no regard to how much work I put in FOR THEM. Demands, requests, needs all having to be fulfilled by me. They don't know any better. They are little. I get that, but it doesn't make the work less hard. And when I saw all that food I just cooked haphazardly tossed onto the floor for me to clean up...well I could have walked out the front door without a second thought.

I would never trade motherhood but I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't beat me up because it does.

This afternoon Maddie went down for a nap and Natalie fell asleep playing in her room- something that happens once in a blue moon. And I knew God was smiling on me. A bit of time to take care of myself rather than everyone else.

Here's to a weekend where you too can hopefully find a moment to love yourself.


Just show up. Be brave. Be kind. Rest. Try again. - Glennon Melton Doyle


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