Gold medal bracketology...
The method behind my March Madness is a simple one. I take what I know and apply it to my bracket. Honestly I have some room to brag because I have had some good years. One March I started a new job (on St. Patrick's Day) and I immediately entered the office pool where I won the whole thing thanks to Syracuse (read Sarah-cuse). In full disclosure I have also had some bad years but just ignore that. Whether you follow my path to success with your own bracket or not is your business but I am happy to share my logic. Spread the love. Share the magic. I just need to get these bracket based blog posts into the hands of ESPN and maybe next year I too will be an official bracketologist.
SOUTH DIVISION
Florida v Albany or MSM: Beards are to Santa as Florida is to me. What's that you ask? A necessity. I love Florida. I need Florida. Well I need southern Florida. The southwest portion actually. Ok, really just the coastal side of southwest Florida. The rest of Florida I don't really care about but hearing the word Florida makes me all tingly inside. It's a good thing. So what I'm saying is I pick Florida to win this game. (Psst: in case you are not aware, the two possible teams listed to play Florida is actually a play-in game. You do not need to select a play-in winner. And it doesn't really matter anyway because I doubt the winner of the play-in game has ever beat a 1 seed. And Florida is the overall 1 seed. Go Florida! Go sports, go! Yeah sports!)
Colorado v Pittsburgh: Colorado all the way. I am actually a little disappointed in Colorado for leaving the Big XII because it's inclusion opened the door to me possibly traveling there one day for a Big XII game after Kate turns 18 and I lose that bet with Matt...but that is a story for another time. No, the reason I chose Colorado is because I would never want to go to a school nicknamed Pitt. Gross.
VCU v SF Austin: I am going out on a limb here and choosing SF Austin. I did a little research and SF Austin is actually located in Nacogdoches, TX and you gotta love the sound of that town name. (In full disclosure, VCU is a 5 seed and SF Austin is a 12. Occasionally a 12 will knock off a 5 so I am taking a risk here. But a calculated risk. Actually, not calculated at all. At least not in the mathematical sense.)
UCLA v Tulsa: I would love to visit the Ellen show in Los Angeles sometime in my life. Coincidentally enough UCLA is in Los Angeles. My support for UCLA will not directly get me to the Ellen show but if a vote for UCLA is a vote for Ellen then I choose UCLA.
Ohio State v Dayton: How did this happen really? Two Ohio schools playing against each other in the first round? Anyway I will cheer for Ohio State because you always cheer for family and Aaron Craft plays for Ohio State. (We are not in any way related but the last name is close enough for me.)
Syracuse v Western Michigan: I have a very vivid memory as a little girl playing on the floor of the basement while my Dad watched basketball. I had no idea who was playing nor did I probably care frankly, but when I heard the team name Syracuse from the TV announcers I knew I had found my forever basketball team. I choose Sarah-cuse. I choo-choo-choose you, Sarah-cuse.
New Mexico v Stanford: Like million of other teenagers I too once had braces. For some unknown reason, when choosing the design for my retainer I went with a picture of a goofy green alien sporting a red scarf. He was pretty fun looking so why not, right? I still have that retainer and I still adore the alien on it, even if I don't actually believe in aliens. Nonetheless aliens and New Mexico are synonymous so I shall choose New Mexico to win this battle.
Kansas v Eastern Kentucky: No offense to the State of Kentucky but I really have no interest in you at all. Not the east, not the west and not anywhere in between. Plus I kind of like the rock chalk Jayhawk cheer...but don't tell that to my husband.
EAST
Virginia v Coastal Carolina: Coastal anything gets my attention but a girl must be sensible. Virginia is a 1 seed and Coastal Carolina is a 16. Virginia is my pick.
Memphis v George Washington: Kate giggles whenever she hears that George Washington is still playing sports! Of course she is thinking of the President not the school. Matt adores himself some Memphis but I have never been there. So what shall I do? I asked a neutral party, of course. I consulted with Natalie and she gave me gibberish. CJ on the other hand feels confident about George so George it is.
Cincinnati v Harvard: Another thing you may not know about me is I love goofy, witty comedy. 30 Rock is one of my many favorites. There is one specific episode where Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) travels to Cleveland and her life is transformed from craptastic to fantastic. One great line from the episode is, "Everyone's a model in Cleveland." While Cincinnati and Cleveland are not the same place they at least hail from the same state. Long, ridiculous story short...I choose Clevel...I mean, Cincinnati.
While the Cleveland line is not in this great compilation video I still highly recommend you watch it. Unless you are sensitive to insensitive things. Then watch it without the sound.
By the way, I too say "I want to go to there" all the time. Just watch it.
Michigan State v Delaware: Michigan State was one of my top three picks for graduate school and they are playing pretty tough right now. Sending my love your way, M State.
North Carolina v Providence: North Carolina is home to one of THE BEST fast food restaurants around...Biscuitville. The best biscuits around. I even sent an email to their corporate office trying to sell them on the idea of expanding to Iowa. It was a no-go but they at least appreciated the email and I appreciate their delicious biscuits. North Carolina is gonna win and if they do I hope they Fed-Ex me some biscuits in return for my support.
Iowa State v North Carolina Central: ISU, of course.
Connecticut v Saint Joseph's: Eeks. I really don't have a good rationale to fall back on here. I am torn. I suppose I will have to go with UConn. They have always been a pretty tough basketball team. I thought they beat Iowa State last year in the tournament. Turns out that game was actually two years ago. Nevermind the fact that my memory also told me it was North Carolina who beat Iowa State. Anyway, I shall not dredge up bad memories...or false ones for that matter. Are you confused yet? UConn.
Villanova v Milwaukee: Villanova is a fun name.
WEST
Arizona v Weber State: A little trivia for you...Did you know Weber State is in Utah? Me neither. While I really like skiing I much prefer being warm. Good luck to you Arizona. Melt Weber State's snow.
Gonzaga v Oklahoma State: Gonzaga is a pretty fun name, really. It, to me, sounds tough, sharp and spiky. Do you feel that too? Anyway, when I think Oklahoma State I think of floppy Marcus Smart. Bear with me here but I picture Marcus Smart flopping to the court, landing on a sharp, spiky Gonzaga and bursting his Smart-aleck bubble. I choose Gonzaga. By the way, here is a little video of the ISU student section flopping into their seats whenever Marcus Smart shot a free throw. It didn't really deter him making making shots but it provided a good chuckle.
Oklahoma v North Dakota State: Matt has this unexplained, deep interest in North Dakota. Me? Not so much. Although I also have no interest in Oklahoma. Back in the Southern region of my bracket picks I chose a 12 over a 5 and it is not bound to happen twice so I am gonna have to go with the 5 seed here and say Oklahoma. At least I am supporting a Big XII school, right? Eh, I don't care.
San Diego State v New Mexico State: Both are sunny. Both are southern. But only one is a place I have visited and really care to go back to...San Diego.
Baylor v Nebraska: Oy. Baylor is Big XII. Nebraska is from the Midwest. Baylor is green. Nebraska looks more like Christmas. I can't do anymore winter/Christmas. I have to think spring and go with the green.
Creighton v Louisiana-Lafayette: I may love Ellen and her funny, funny show but I don't have much interest in Louisiana. (Ellen is from that state...duh!) I have to go with Creighton here folks.
Oregon v BYU: This is Ducks v Cougars. Come on! No way could a duck beat a cougar in any sort of battle. Unless it is a flying duck. Spread your wings little duck because I am choosing you to move onto the second round. Oregon.
Wisconsin v American: American University is in Washington D.C. No surprise there, but did you know it sits near Quebec Street. How funny is that?! Still American is only a 15 seed so I have to go with the higher seed. Go Badgers.
MIDWEST
Wichita State v Cal Poly or Texas So.: Another play-in here. Doesn't matter, in my opinion. I am picking Wichita State.
Kentucky v Kansas State: Have you seen that guy Gipson who plays for K State? He looks like he is hiding bags of potatoes under his arm skin. The dude has more arm muscles than two Arnold Schwarzeneggers and a Rocky combined. Still, Kentucky has always been a tough basketball team. Again I am torn. So I asked my consultant CJ for help. I said who would you choose. A guy with potato arms or a guy who love Blue Grass (I didn't tell her what Blue Grass is, fyi). She went with blue grass. Kentucky.
Saint Louis v NC State or Xavier: Again we have a play-in game here. I have always chosen Xavier to go far in the NCAA tournament and they almost always burn me. So my unfounded loyalty to a school that is in a state unknown to me shall lose that loyalty this year. Plus I have very fond memories of visiting St. Louis as a kid. We would ride rollercoasters at Six Flags, travel up the inside of the St. Louis Arch and watch guys sing and dance while making fudge inside some mall. And one year I got gum stuck in my hair on the way to St. Louis and I intentionally hid it from my parents so I wouldn't get in trouble. Fast forward weeks later when I finally got my haircut and my mom was baffled. I was a weird kid, I think.
Louisville v Manhattan: Holy smokes I am sorry New York. I really, truly love Manhattan. Not the school so much as the actual city, really, but still. Louisville is a 4 seed and while I hate to hand out so much love to a State I don't really care about I still have to go with Louisville here.
Massachusetts v Iowa or Tennessee: This is a toughy. I don't need to choose a play-in winner, I just need to chose the winner between Massachusetts and whomever wins the play-in game. I don't feel too confident in Iowa's chance of beating UMass and even though Tennessee is playing well and could possibly be the play-in winner I don't want to pick them over Massachusetts. So long story short...Mass will win.
Duke v Mercer: In my mind Duke is synonymous with basketball. I mean, have you even heard of Duke's football team? Do they have a football team? Let me Google it. Well what do ya know. They do. Who cares. Mercer is gonna cry for mercy when Duke beats their basketball socks off.
Texas v Arizona State: This is tough. Baylor beat up on Texas in the Big XII semi-finals. So Texas could either feel beat down or ready to throw punches. Arizona State has lost their last three games. Texas has been in a win / loss pattern over the last six games. (In case you are worried about me, I had to look this up. I did NOT know it on my own.) Anyway, Texas seems to be in a pattern and they lost their last game so if the pattern continues then they will win this game over AZ State. I choose Texas.
Michigan v Wofford: I have not heard of Woffod College so I looked it up. Apparently a man named Benjamin Wofford left an estate worth $150,000 to fund the start of a new college and so began Wofford College. Strangely enough he doesn't seem to be a man of great success necessarily but he did leave a lot of money considering he passed in the early 1800's. Anyway, if you want to learn more you can go here... http://www.wofford.edu/library/archives/benjamin-wofford.aspx OR you can just choose Michigan to win.
So there you have it. Did you read all the way to the end? Congratulations! Good luck with your bracket. Eat lots of wings and watch lots of basketball and pretend you know as much about basketball as the guy next to you. March Madness is fun, especially when your husband brings home take out two days in a row and you don't have to cook and you get to eat your take out on the couch while your children nap. Yep, March Madness is good. Take advantage of it. Until next time...
Quick side note: My oldest daughter Kate is super excited to complete her bracket, win the family pool and of course, watch endless games amid endless questions. So poo on you ESPN for surrounding your on-line bracket with Hooters girls. Believe it or not but March Madness is as much of a family event as it is an event for dudes. How am I to explain girls can win championships, be President of the United States, run a Fortune 500 company, climb a mountain and race a car when she sees her on-line bracket draped with girls with low self esteem in butt shorts, boobs hanging out and catering to men. Gross! You want to put that on ESPN...fine. But not on the pages where young kids excitedly jump at the chance to play in the family basketball pool. Enough of my rant.
Happy basketball to you!
SOUTH DIVISION
Florida v Albany or MSM: Beards are to Santa as Florida is to me. What's that you ask? A necessity. I love Florida. I need Florida. Well I need southern Florida. The southwest portion actually. Ok, really just the coastal side of southwest Florida. The rest of Florida I don't really care about but hearing the word Florida makes me all tingly inside. It's a good thing. So what I'm saying is I pick Florida to win this game. (Psst: in case you are not aware, the two possible teams listed to play Florida is actually a play-in game. You do not need to select a play-in winner. And it doesn't really matter anyway because I doubt the winner of the play-in game has ever beat a 1 seed. And Florida is the overall 1 seed. Go Florida! Go sports, go! Yeah sports!)
Colorado v Pittsburgh: Colorado all the way. I am actually a little disappointed in Colorado for leaving the Big XII because it's inclusion opened the door to me possibly traveling there one day for a Big XII game after Kate turns 18 and I lose that bet with Matt...but that is a story for another time. No, the reason I chose Colorado is because I would never want to go to a school nicknamed Pitt. Gross.
VCU v SF Austin: I am going out on a limb here and choosing SF Austin. I did a little research and SF Austin is actually located in Nacogdoches, TX and you gotta love the sound of that town name. (In full disclosure, VCU is a 5 seed and SF Austin is a 12. Occasionally a 12 will knock off a 5 so I am taking a risk here. But a calculated risk. Actually, not calculated at all. At least not in the mathematical sense.)
UCLA v Tulsa: I would love to visit the Ellen show in Los Angeles sometime in my life. Coincidentally enough UCLA is in Los Angeles. My support for UCLA will not directly get me to the Ellen show but if a vote for UCLA is a vote for Ellen then I choose UCLA.
Ohio State v Dayton: How did this happen really? Two Ohio schools playing against each other in the first round? Anyway I will cheer for Ohio State because you always cheer for family and Aaron Craft plays for Ohio State. (We are not in any way related but the last name is close enough for me.)
Syracuse v Western Michigan: I have a very vivid memory as a little girl playing on the floor of the basement while my Dad watched basketball. I had no idea who was playing nor did I probably care frankly, but when I heard the team name Syracuse from the TV announcers I knew I had found my forever basketball team. I choose Sarah-cuse. I choo-choo-choose you, Sarah-cuse.
New Mexico v Stanford: Like million of other teenagers I too once had braces. For some unknown reason, when choosing the design for my retainer I went with a picture of a goofy green alien sporting a red scarf. He was pretty fun looking so why not, right? I still have that retainer and I still adore the alien on it, even if I don't actually believe in aliens. Nonetheless aliens and New Mexico are synonymous so I shall choose New Mexico to win this battle.
Kansas v Eastern Kentucky: No offense to the State of Kentucky but I really have no interest in you at all. Not the east, not the west and not anywhere in between. Plus I kind of like the rock chalk Jayhawk cheer...but don't tell that to my husband.
EAST
Virginia v Coastal Carolina: Coastal anything gets my attention but a girl must be sensible. Virginia is a 1 seed and Coastal Carolina is a 16. Virginia is my pick.
Memphis v George Washington: Kate giggles whenever she hears that George Washington is still playing sports! Of course she is thinking of the President not the school. Matt adores himself some Memphis but I have never been there. So what shall I do? I asked a neutral party, of course. I consulted with Natalie and she gave me gibberish. CJ on the other hand feels confident about George so George it is.
Cincinnati v Harvard: Another thing you may not know about me is I love goofy, witty comedy. 30 Rock is one of my many favorites. There is one specific episode where Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) travels to Cleveland and her life is transformed from craptastic to fantastic. One great line from the episode is, "Everyone's a model in Cleveland." While Cincinnati and Cleveland are not the same place they at least hail from the same state. Long, ridiculous story short...I choose Clevel...I mean, Cincinnati.
While the Cleveland line is not in this great compilation video I still highly recommend you watch it. Unless you are sensitive to insensitive things. Then watch it without the sound.
By the way, I too say "I want to go to there" all the time. Just watch it.
Michigan State v Delaware: Michigan State was one of my top three picks for graduate school and they are playing pretty tough right now. Sending my love your way, M State.
North Carolina v Providence: North Carolina is home to one of THE BEST fast food restaurants around...Biscuitville. The best biscuits around. I even sent an email to their corporate office trying to sell them on the idea of expanding to Iowa. It was a no-go but they at least appreciated the email and I appreciate their delicious biscuits. North Carolina is gonna win and if they do I hope they Fed-Ex me some biscuits in return for my support.
Iowa State v North Carolina Central: ISU, of course.
Connecticut v Saint Joseph's: Eeks. I really don't have a good rationale to fall back on here. I am torn. I suppose I will have to go with UConn. They have always been a pretty tough basketball team. I thought they beat Iowa State last year in the tournament. Turns out that game was actually two years ago. Nevermind the fact that my memory also told me it was North Carolina who beat Iowa State. Anyway, I shall not dredge up bad memories...or false ones for that matter. Are you confused yet? UConn.
Villanova v Milwaukee: Villanova is a fun name.
WEST
Arizona v Weber State: A little trivia for you...Did you know Weber State is in Utah? Me neither. While I really like skiing I much prefer being warm. Good luck to you Arizona. Melt Weber State's snow.
Gonzaga v Oklahoma State: Gonzaga is a pretty fun name, really. It, to me, sounds tough, sharp and spiky. Do you feel that too? Anyway, when I think Oklahoma State I think of floppy Marcus Smart. Bear with me here but I picture Marcus Smart flopping to the court, landing on a sharp, spiky Gonzaga and bursting his Smart-aleck bubble. I choose Gonzaga. By the way, here is a little video of the ISU student section flopping into their seats whenever Marcus Smart shot a free throw. It didn't really deter him making making shots but it provided a good chuckle.
Oklahoma v North Dakota State: Matt has this unexplained, deep interest in North Dakota. Me? Not so much. Although I also have no interest in Oklahoma. Back in the Southern region of my bracket picks I chose a 12 over a 5 and it is not bound to happen twice so I am gonna have to go with the 5 seed here and say Oklahoma. At least I am supporting a Big XII school, right? Eh, I don't care.
San Diego State v New Mexico State: Both are sunny. Both are southern. But only one is a place I have visited and really care to go back to...San Diego.
Baylor v Nebraska: Oy. Baylor is Big XII. Nebraska is from the Midwest. Baylor is green. Nebraska looks more like Christmas. I can't do anymore winter/Christmas. I have to think spring and go with the green.
Creighton v Louisiana-Lafayette: I may love Ellen and her funny, funny show but I don't have much interest in Louisiana. (Ellen is from that state...duh!) I have to go with Creighton here folks.
Oregon v BYU: This is Ducks v Cougars. Come on! No way could a duck beat a cougar in any sort of battle. Unless it is a flying duck. Spread your wings little duck because I am choosing you to move onto the second round. Oregon.
Wisconsin v American: American University is in Washington D.C. No surprise there, but did you know it sits near Quebec Street. How funny is that?! Still American is only a 15 seed so I have to go with the higher seed. Go Badgers.
MIDWEST
Wichita State v Cal Poly or Texas So.: Another play-in here. Doesn't matter, in my opinion. I am picking Wichita State.
Kentucky v Kansas State: Have you seen that guy Gipson who plays for K State? He looks like he is hiding bags of potatoes under his arm skin. The dude has more arm muscles than two Arnold Schwarzeneggers and a Rocky combined. Still, Kentucky has always been a tough basketball team. Again I am torn. So I asked my consultant CJ for help. I said who would you choose. A guy with potato arms or a guy who love Blue Grass (I didn't tell her what Blue Grass is, fyi). She went with blue grass. Kentucky.
Saint Louis v NC State or Xavier: Again we have a play-in game here. I have always chosen Xavier to go far in the NCAA tournament and they almost always burn me. So my unfounded loyalty to a school that is in a state unknown to me shall lose that loyalty this year. Plus I have very fond memories of visiting St. Louis as a kid. We would ride rollercoasters at Six Flags, travel up the inside of the St. Louis Arch and watch guys sing and dance while making fudge inside some mall. And one year I got gum stuck in my hair on the way to St. Louis and I intentionally hid it from my parents so I wouldn't get in trouble. Fast forward weeks later when I finally got my haircut and my mom was baffled. I was a weird kid, I think.
Louisville v Manhattan: Holy smokes I am sorry New York. I really, truly love Manhattan. Not the school so much as the actual city, really, but still. Louisville is a 4 seed and while I hate to hand out so much love to a State I don't really care about I still have to go with Louisville here.
Massachusetts v Iowa or Tennessee: This is a toughy. I don't need to choose a play-in winner, I just need to chose the winner between Massachusetts and whomever wins the play-in game. I don't feel too confident in Iowa's chance of beating UMass and even though Tennessee is playing well and could possibly be the play-in winner I don't want to pick them over Massachusetts. So long story short...Mass will win.
Duke v Mercer: In my mind Duke is synonymous with basketball. I mean, have you even heard of Duke's football team? Do they have a football team? Let me Google it. Well what do ya know. They do. Who cares. Mercer is gonna cry for mercy when Duke beats their basketball socks off.
Texas v Arizona State: This is tough. Baylor beat up on Texas in the Big XII semi-finals. So Texas could either feel beat down or ready to throw punches. Arizona State has lost their last three games. Texas has been in a win / loss pattern over the last six games. (In case you are worried about me, I had to look this up. I did NOT know it on my own.) Anyway, Texas seems to be in a pattern and they lost their last game so if the pattern continues then they will win this game over AZ State. I choose Texas.
Michigan v Wofford: I have not heard of Woffod College so I looked it up. Apparently a man named Benjamin Wofford left an estate worth $150,000 to fund the start of a new college and so began Wofford College. Strangely enough he doesn't seem to be a man of great success necessarily but he did leave a lot of money considering he passed in the early 1800's. Anyway, if you want to learn more you can go here... http://www.wofford.edu/library/archives/benjamin-wofford.aspx OR you can just choose Michigan to win.
So there you have it. Did you read all the way to the end? Congratulations! Good luck with your bracket. Eat lots of wings and watch lots of basketball and pretend you know as much about basketball as the guy next to you. March Madness is fun, especially when your husband brings home take out two days in a row and you don't have to cook and you get to eat your take out on the couch while your children nap. Yep, March Madness is good. Take advantage of it. Until next time...
Quick side note: My oldest daughter Kate is super excited to complete her bracket, win the family pool and of course, watch endless games amid endless questions. So poo on you ESPN for surrounding your on-line bracket with Hooters girls. Believe it or not but March Madness is as much of a family event as it is an event for dudes. How am I to explain girls can win championships, be President of the United States, run a Fortune 500 company, climb a mountain and race a car when she sees her on-line bracket draped with girls with low self esteem in butt shorts, boobs hanging out and catering to men. Gross! You want to put that on ESPN...fine. But not on the pages where young kids excitedly jump at the chance to play in the family basketball pool. Enough of my rant.
Happy basketball to you!
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