Cry me a river

Excuse me while I have a mini-pity party for myself.

I am tired. I am so very tired. My good baby who never fusses, fussed all day long and needed to be held constantly. And my 2 year old is incapable of playing by herself...ever. All this broken sleep is preventing me from keeping up with Kate. My body aches. I somehow hurt my knee which makes going up and down the stairs very painful. And so now, at 4:15 a.m., I am watching my newborn, with wide eyes, tell me that she is not tired. I have been up since 2:30 and I just want to cry. But that is not going to fix the situation. I will get to sleep again someday, right?

On a peppy note, we have lots of ice cream in the freezer. If I have to be up all night I may as well enjoy a treat.

Comments

Courtney said…
Bless your heart. I hope you can catch some winks soon. This is what I have to look forward to in about 8 weeks. At least Ice Cream can cure just about anything. :)
September 17, 2009 at 1:31 PM
Megan said…
Here is a note I made myself, but never got around to posting on my blog for posterity. I can totally empathize, my almost 5mo still isn't sleeping through the night! Hope it helps!

Hope of sleep = FAIL
Expectations and hope are a funny thing. When I am hopeful or expect to get a long stretch of sleep at night, and then don't, I am spiteful and angry.
When I let go of that hope and don't expect to get much sleep...
When I just accept that I'm going to be tired...
I am pleasantly surprised at how rested I feel with whatever amount of sleep I got.

I am happier when I am not obsessed with how much or little sleep I am getting.
September 17, 2009 at 2:33 PM
Heather's Henhouse said…
It's never fun when we don't get to sleep when we need it. Hopefully you get a good nap in... and yes, someday you will get to sleep again and you'll miss having the little bundle to hold and snuggle. Thank goodness the weekend is close so hopefully you can get some extra sleep!
September 17, 2009 at 3:33 PM
Life of the Lorenzens said…
I totally feel your pain, Sarah. Lincoln has never slept more than a 4 1/2 hour block. Right now I'm trying to push him to wait 6 hours to eat at night, but I still have to get up 2-4 times to put him back to sleep. Someday we will sleep again!

Megan's note is wonderful and so true. I realized I also tend to become very mopey and cranky when I count the hours/minutes of sleep and go looking for pity. You can't expect anything, either. I'm learning that the hard way with naps, too. Then I'm just pleasantly surprised!
September 18, 2009 at 11:24 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

October things...

Image
It has not been the easiest October on record. Kate had a couple of hospital visits to Rochester but she is somewhat better at the moment. She continues with chemotherapy and has not been back to school for quite some time but she is doing her best to set aside time for online school work between naps, loving on cats, and hanging out with her family. I was able to get the girls to visit their great grandma in western Iowa a few weeks back. Here's Claudia shortly after arriving at great grandma's house. She is very into jewelry and lots of it. Grandma had several questions for her about the number of bracelets and thankfully Claudia loves talking about them. Many she has made, some were gifted to her...it's a lovely hodgepodge of middle school girl goodies. Clearly the girls and I were blessed with height genes from relatives not named great grandma. We spent time relaxing, taking four wheeler rides, eating candy and we also received a visit from my aunt and uncle. Aunt Deb
Read more

The dark day of June 27th...

 June 12, 2023 We typically don't share a lot of updates about Kate's health, primarily because she wants to remain "a normal teenager." However, we still get asked how Kate is doing and I started thinking maybe it's okay to share updates now and again. Most people care about her and our family, some others could maybe be labeled as "tragedy junkies," but I'm going to operate under the assumption that most people have the best of intentions.  Today is June 12th and we are quickly approaching the dreaded dark day of June 27th. Have you watched, "Gilmore Girls?" It's a witty, comforting television show from the early 2000's. In it one of the main characters has what is dubbed, "a dark day." This is a day the character dreads each year and in response he goes into hiding from the world with no communication. Well for Kate, and the rest of us to some degree, the dark day of the year is June 27th and that date is closing in on
Read more

The other side of the dark day...

 Kate's dark day of Jun 27th came and went like any other day. Kate swam 100 fly in the Independence meet and finished 1st (she was the only swimmer in her age group to sign up, but who cares about details) and then she and Matt hopped in the car to drive up to Rochester for next-day appointments. The worst part of Kate's dark day was probably Matt trying out the Grimace meal at McDonald's. It was death by milkshake and yet he drank the whole thing. Can't let food go to waste, or something.  We braved June 27th with dread and came out on the other side. We enter year three into the cancer life. Two years of appointments, scans, blood draws, IVs, endless chemotherapies, daily medications. It is difficult to remember life before all of this, when Kate was able to get up at 6 a.m. to swim, play basketball, ride her bike, go to school and chase her sisters. We've all adapted even though no one wants to. Hand to God I keep hoping to have a tantrum and wake up from whatev
Read more