Table Manners by Kate
Kate believes the best way to enjoy your dinner is to get a rise out of your dinner guests. Here are some Kate suggested, fool proof methods of attracting attention at the dinner table.
Smear your dinner on your face and hands BEFORE you compliment the chef. This ensures the chef believes your praises and pays attention to your kind words.
If a dinner host serves either pasta sauce or chocolate, remove your shirt before indulging.
Again, Kate highly recommends smearing food before applauding the chef's cuisine. However, if you dine without a shirt, it is best to also smear your dinner on your tummy. And if at all possible, put as much as possible into your belly button.
Oh, Kate also likes to remove her pants if dinner is promised to be extra tasty. Note: Kate's mom and dad recommend keeping a close eye on your dinner guest so that she or he doesn't dive into a living room chair after taking her or his picture. :)
Finally, if all else fails and you have not yet attracted attention, stick both fingers up your nose and sing as loudly as possible.
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